So the girls and I set out last Friday afternoon, very excited to see a different city and explore more of Kenya! After boarding the matatu at the end of our road it continued to stop frequently for the next few miles. As the bus got more and more full somehow Eline and I ended up squished in the very back with no air circulation and laughing hysterically because you could not see Femke's head in the front seat due to being sandwiched between the butts of two African men! After 3 hours, more than 30 passengers in a 12 person van at a time, and having to stop and honk in order not to run over the wild monkeys in the road - we made it to Kitale!
We had already picked the hotel we were going to stay in, but had no idea where it was so we walked aimlessly and asked for directions until we found it! For the 3 of us to stay for the night it was $7 dollars a piece, which we thought was quite the bargain! Then when we saw that double beds in Kenya are evidently equivalent to a twin bed in America, so two of us would be cuddling close for the night! Our hotel had a restaurant so we were relieved we didn't have to go out after dark to eat. Without knowing the size we each ordered the sampler platter, and oh man was it a platter! On each of our plates was rice, chipate (like a flour tortilla), eggs, french fries, fried chicken, steak, sausage, and a banana! We looked like the biggest fat kids you have ever seen! Not only was there meat on our plate, but it tasted like real American meat! I had tried chicken here once before and it was not appetizing at all. So here sat the three white girls scarfing down everything on their plates like we've never eaten! I'm pretty sure other tables were staring.
Saturday morning we woke up bright and early so that we could see the sights. The museum we planned to see decided not to open for the weekend so our driver, James, took us to a place called the Kitale Natural Park. We paid an entrance fee and had a tour guide, so we are assuming it's going to be pretty cool...The first part we walk through (oh, it's sprinkling now and I left my raincoat at the hotel) is the botanical gardens. There are lots of neat trees and our guide tells us what purpose they serve in Africa. There is even one that supposedly cures asthma, and Femke is tasting different leaves and what not. Then we enter the area that has different trees that are mentioned in Biblical stories. I am thinking, "Wow, this is going to be really cool!" The second tree we walk up to our guide says, "And here is a sycamore, like the one Zacheus climbed up." I looked at him like he was crazy and then realized he was being serious. This so called "tree" looked a lot more like something I would call a one and a half foot tall twig. Unless Jesus and Zacheus were along the same size as GI Joes, this tree would not come in very handy.
We exit the gardens and head onto the tour of the forest and wildlife. After walking over several wooden bridges that all felt like they were going to break at any moment (and it's still drizzling) the tour guide says we will be seeing monkeys soon...about a mile later we have seen no animals, and he seems unaware. Most of his sentences began with phrases like this, "And over here where we are digging; this is going to be a river where you can take boat rides." "And this fenced in area that has a sign saying 'Snakes,' that is where we will be putting snakes soon." When we got to where the monkeys were he said they must be hiding. Just as I thought the tour is coming to an end we got to a field with lots of cows and bulls. He takes us very close and says that these cows can't reproduce because their female parts aren't positioned right. I just thought, "hmmm, that's interesting." We round the corner to an area with some goats and the guide says casually, "All these goats are hermaphrodites." The Dutch girls look at me confused because that's an English word they've never heard. So I ask the guide, "Is there something wrong with all these animals?" "Oh yes, of course," he responds and then precedes to show us a few sheep that have two or three legs. Some with shriveled legs, and others that simply drag limbs. When we reached the odd looking animal that he says is a mixed breed of a dog and cow, I had had enough. For those of you who don't know exactly how weird I am - let me explain. One of my biggest fears is a half man half horse, aka centaur. Yes, I am aware they don't exist, but the idea completely freaks me out. I refuse to watch the Chronicles of Narnia because of this phobia and close my eyes in certain scenes of Harry Potter. So you can only imagine the state of panic I am felling with all these odd animals! I then ask sarcastically if next we are going to see a two headed goat. He replies seriously, "Oh no we don't have that. Just the bull with 4 horns, 3 eyes, and a deformed mouth." I am absolutely horrified just imagining the nightmares that are soon to come.
After leaving the twilight zone, we ask our driver to take us somewhere to see animals we actually WANT to see. The next place was unbelievable! We pulled into a long driveway then went into what you thought would be a backyard, but instead it was this beautiful landscape with zebras and giselles just galloping about, and the trees literally looked like they were off the Lion King (Dev, I wish you could see it!). They also had two rhinos that came so close I could touch. After this I assume we are leaving when our guide says that now it's time to ride the ostrich. Yes, he said we were going to ride a bird. So sure enough there is an ostrich with a saddle on his back being supported by what looks like toothpicks as legs. Despite my suspicions the guide assures me that it can hold me up. A man helps me on and I am straddling the bird while holding its poor wings as reigns, and it very unsteadily takes off. The two men that I assume are standing there in case I fall are actually helping to hold up the ostrich! Talk about feeling fat! So now I am sitting on top of this poor bird and have no choice but to finish the ride! As if my weight wasn't enough, the men then insist that it's perfectly fine for Femke and Eline to ride it too! This might go down as one of the most absurd days of my life.
Also, in case you haven't heard - Hell has frozen over. I painted about 12 little girls toe nails.
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